Women’s Sexual Health

Some women feel a lot of anxiety about being intimate and having sexual intercourse. This may result in decreased desire, sexual arousal disorder, or erectile dysfunction. It is often helpful to take a step-by-step approach to overcome anxiety. One of the best and mutually satisfying ways to improve your sex life is to focus on the pleasures of touching.

Sensual Massage

One option is to learn how to give and receive a sensual massage. Sensual massage can help you and your partner:

  • express needs and desires
  • find out how each likes to touch and be touched
  • explore new ways to give pleasure
  • improve your relationship.
  • An illustrated manual or book can be helpful. Here are some general tips:

  • Determine who will be the first giver.
  • Establish whether you and your partner will be clothed or unclothed.
  • Choose a location where you both will be comfortable.
  • Dim the lights and play soft music you both enjoy.
  • Use plenty of pillows or a comforter.
  • If you wish, use baby oils, scented oils, lotions, or powder.
  • Tell the giver what feels good and what does not.
  • Begin with the face. Normally the giver sits and the receiver lies flat on his or her back with the head resting on the giver’s thighs. With the hands well lubricated, the giver begins with the chin, then strokes the cheeks, forehead, and temples.

    Explore the face as if you were a blind person meeting your partner for the first time. Then explore the ear lobes, lips, and the nose before returning to massage the temples for complete relaxation. Rest, talk about the experience, and reverse roles.
    Massage the rest of the body tenderly and pay attention to your partner’s feelings. Then reverse roles.

    Sensate Focus Exercises

    Sensate focus exercises were introduced by researchers Masters and Johnson to treat couples with sexual problems. The exercises are divided into 3 steps. Both partners should be comfortable with each step before moving to the next.

    Schedule time when you can both be relaxed and comfortable. Partners take turns being the giver and the receiver.

  • First step: Explore various parts of your partner’s body including the head and neck, chest, belly, back, buttocks, arms, underarms, hands, fingers, legs, feet, and toes. Use different kinds of touch, such as stroking, rubbing, and squeezing. You can also use different kinds of touch with your mouth, such as kissing, nipping with your teeth, or sucking. Limit this stage to parts of the body other than the genitals and breasts.
  • Second step: Touch, stroke, and explore the sensual responses of the whole body, including the breasts and genitals. The goal is not an erection or orgasm. The goal is to learn what feels good to your partner. At this stage some talk may be helpful.
  • Third step: Caress and stimulate breasts and genitals. For those couples who wish to proceed to sexual intercourse, you can receive and give orgasm if you choose. It often helps to use a lubricant such as Astroglide or K-Y jelly, especially for the woman’s clitoris and the vaginal opening. Vaseline should not be used as a vaginal lubricant.
  • Pay attention to just relaxing and enjoying it when you touch each other. Remember that it is possible to have a loving, intimate relationship without sexual intercourse. If you feel that your relationship needs more help, psychotherapy, treatment with medicine, and sexual counseling may be helpful.

    Breaking the Vicious Spell of Sexual Addiction

    One might have fantasized about the gorgeous women they ever laid their eyes on but if someone went ahead to conquer each and every such woman in an endless but a methodical quest then such an individual might be considered to be prone to sexual addiction. Though, it may not sound like a life threatening situation but the social and the psychological implications of this condition will make you think otherwise.

    Sex addiction has a major difference than other types of addictions like alcohol or drug addiction as it involves the act of sex which is a normal activity that is performed regularly unlike consuming alcohol or drugs. However, sexual addiction is basically all about engaging in a relentless pursuit of sexual pleasure despite the knowledge of its consequence to oneself and others. It is an addiction that can permanently damage a person but just like all other addictions it too can be cured with the right treatment.

    An essential key to the right treatment of sex addiction lies in understanding the key reasons behind the addiction. There can be various causes like early exposure to inappropriate sexual activity or materials or physical, sexual and emotional abuse especially during childhood or the adolescence period. Growing up in rigid and disengaged families also can contribute to the development of sexual addiction in an individual as such families tend to ignore, restrict or make the child feel inadequate and as a failure. Thus in such circumstances the child tries to escape from his family issues and resorts to sexual fantasies like masturbation or engaging in covert sex early in life to escape from the tensions.

    Addiction recovery in such cases starts with helping one to stop that behavior first. All this can be done by attending these recovery oriented support meetings or to maintain a support system via a therapist or a support group with the back up of a sponsor. Also some professional doctors can offer counseling and therapy in cases of sex addiction but the role of family and friends in encouraging and supporting the individual is instrumental in faster treatment. Also, the infamous 12 step sex program for treating addictions states sexual addiction as the most difficult to master is it would involve an extremely dedicated approach to treat the addiction. However, one of the most effective ways to conquer sexual addiction is by counseling strategies like individual counseling, group counseling, counseling of the addict’s partner and couple counseling. The motive of these counseling sessions is to help not only the addict but also the partner or the spouse who faces trauma due to the addiction.

    Prior to treatment a person caught in sexual addiction might perform sexual acts to feel safe, comfortable and accepted but it is one condition that separates an individual from everything in life that a person holds dear. And the only way one can break out from a situation that will destroy one’s social structure is by going through addiction recovery. While alcohol and drugs have to be bought, sex is a normal experience and this recovering from an addiction based on a routine act is difficult without help.

    What To Expect From Gay Counseling

    If you’re considering counseling, you might be a little unclear about what you can expect. Your uncertainty is probably higher if you identify yourself as gay or lesbian. Read on if you’ve had trouble finding the right counselor or just have questions about getting started in therapy.

    Trust And Acceptance From A Well-Chosen Counselor

    If you choose a counselor carefully, you’ll find one with a high level of acceptance of the gay and lesbian population. Instead of seeming uncomfortable or avoiding challenging sexual topics, your counselor will be able to truly work with you. They’ll be aligned with you through any problem you face. Any questions or uncertainties will be addressed with respect and honesty.

    This is the way it should be for all counseling experiences, but people seeking gay counseling often have greater challenges finding good support. When you feel respected and accepted from the start, you’ll have an easier time building trust with your counselor. With more trust, you’ll be more likely to open up with difficult issues and follow their recommendations. Take care in the first few sessions to be sure your counselor is a good fit for you.

    Specific Understanding Of Gay and Lesbian Challenges

    Whether you are coming to counseling as an individual or as a couple, you’ll want to find a therapist with training and experience working with the gay and lesbian population. They’ll simply have a better understanding about the stressors and mental health risks you may be facing. You may have faced bullying, depression, or even suicidal thoughts in your past.

    Many people who identify as gay or lesbian have had struggles with their personal identity or have felt confused about their sexuality. Even if you need gay counseling for something like anxiety or bipolar disorder, your sexuality has likely played a part in your struggle. A counselor who really understands this can help you face your concerns with warmth and support. This expertise can be invaluable if you’ve often felt left out, confused, or stressed because of how you identify your sexuality.

    Good Couples Counseling

    No matter how sexuality plays a part, intimate relationships require a lot of effort from each partner. A couple is likely to face a lot of ups and downs both together and as individuals. These challenges can toss any relationship upside down from time to time. While gay couples do have some special concerns, they also just need good couples counseling at times.

    Each partner in a relationship has their own personal history and their history as a couple. They may have job problems, family issues, questions about the future of the relationship, and many other stressors. A counselor can help each partner sort out the issues, understand how these have affected the relationship negatively, and help the partners open up to each other. If you feel like this is something that could help your relationship, know that there are very good counseling options for you.